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1.
I Didn't Mean It, Did You? 03:01
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If I was Ever a liar I could tell you I’ve gone blind trying to see it all, (Poor arrangements) Holding cake Falling through our hands Is no place safe to put this down? There must be something there Below the smoke and the fog line Blood in the way I’ll be dead when you die Too late to come home now A drifting memory You keep telling me a better way to get you through I meant to mention everything It’s been years since I knew blood in the way I’ll be dead when it’s gone One by one Empty and needing more of the same I could chalk it up to arrogance or influence Jumping off It’s hazy when I turn around like her Finding the last pieces blown across (the light!) Blood in the way I’ll be dead when you die Escaped to come home now A drifting memory You keep telling me a better way to get this through I meant to mention everything It’s been years since I knew blood in the way Lately I’m uncomfortable You knew something was wrong but carried on It’s been years since I felt everything I keep trying to save the truth Blood in the way I’ll be dead when you die Too late to come home now Adrift in memories
2.
Frogger 02:48
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I pulled over Have we come to expect too much? Good parts never stick around I can’t see what I was Collapsing onto porcelain Like inevitable ends You see our future through a torn crumpled paper bag I’ll never replay I’ll never replay What takes me away There was no wilderness left There follow every fact A life in public I’m on my fourteenth one Look at us here spending time on all this dumb shit They didn’t see what they had A picture on the hall I wouldn’t know what your feeling meant Even if I could push them all There was no wilderness left There follow every fact New holes, aluminum cans WHEN YOU GET BACK I NEVER WANTED ALL OF THE THINGS I NEVER WANTED WHEN YOU GET BACK I’m not in a rush I’m slowing down Even if you could tell me how I leaned into your hands I knew you weren’t my home but couldn’t recall why There was no wilderness left There follow every fact Passed out inside or beneath Felt like we could be something If I could just get to you
3.
On The Side of Angels 03:14
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You said you should be on your way Laying around after pacing all day However I respond would be wrong Can we shift to passing right by? Who said descent So sad, heartsick Narrow small streets near the fountain On the side of angels I was saying what’s in your head That’s what I do best after all I guess, man It’s not as dark as it seems You always celebrate the endings I tell myself the same things Strung along by decisions made long ago Alight at the station or atlas gates Paused, wait crawling back through dumpster days Nothing new but everything unknown From static we never get by It’s not as dark as it seems You always celebrate the endings I tell myself the same things A future of hard work and resignation I was so distracted Haven’t shared my plans yet Inexact in longing after what’s left, not yet On the side of angels I was saying what’s in your head that’s what It’s not as dark as it seems You always celebrate the endings I tell myself the same things A future of hard work and resignation I was so distracted haven’t shared my plans yet Inexact in longing after what’s left Go back to the person I never was Go back, see the person I never was (All that’s haunted me (All that’s haunting me) Invisible nets, invisible nets
4.
Bad Moves 03:19
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What was once a bad move Nothing left to say to you I hope we live 100 years So we’ve a 100 years to die Somehow we were frozen in place Fighting over what remained Get me to get up I only talk to myself when it’s too, too late Once bored and now resurrected To look at with detachment (Like I won’t care what you said) Life outside the golden frames We laid down in the creek Waiting for waves, I Like the way it stains We started once and ended twice Before we held no roses, parting ways What was once a bad move The last thing that I’ll ever do Our plans were only paper Tossed into a hurricane The lights on Are you hidden somewhere? I’ve been down every hallway, calling out Strip mall psychics settled in mud You go into your fantasy life without Me bored and now resurrected To look at with detachment (I won’t care anymore) Outside the golden lanes We laid down in the creek Waiting for waves, I was settled this way We started once and ended twice Neither of us can go You said “I might be on my way to figuring out everything” Except bad moves Is it easy to put up with you? A skeleton jumping outta my chest Was it chasing after you? Or were you running through me I guess We could stay up all night in dreams I walk outta this room, shit on my shoes What was once a bad move Nothing left to say to you I hope we live 100 years So we’ve a 100 years to die
5.
I Won't Say Goodbye 02:02
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You could tell a strange sense of my hastily thrown together eulogy No spirit and decay Like you could fall back into the gutter And never come back Left on their own, our walls bled Well I don’t really say goodbye I don’t really say goodbye Trailing blood, a fortuneteller with no brains haunts forever It took my life making bad decisions I don’t really say goodbye Then I won’t really say goodbye The leaves between our hands Like everything we had We had to make it Then I won’t really say goodbye Then I won’t really say goodbye
6.
Same Kinda Love 02:20
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When the trouble started You gave up your apartment Hung on the stairs I kicked over the ashtray There’s no such thing as a Sentimental blindfold Like an hourglass reflecting a glare And when we’re gone who will care you were here? Never the same kinda love Living along the strange formations The same kinda love Lowered from heights then faceless anymore In the crush of an ever receding Past The same kinda love Living along the strange formations Ashamed that you were Even when I pretend to notice The way we exist here Inside some skin that’s not our own I couldn’t crawl Out of this space Away from your apartment Hung on the stairs
7.
To The Bottom of It 03:36
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When nothing was worth it all In these lifeless days of contentment Now I see that it wasn’t us at the bottom of it To the bottom of it I’ve been wrong twice before To what degree should you ignore? Face to face with the floor Set the alarms to “ignore” You at the bottom of it I wanted to end up here Without what happened The way the wind steals the dead leaves Everything I’ve lost trying to carry it all Up in the fog is it what We put in or get out Or do we not belong Here at the bottom of it? The fake lights Blink in your eyes and fill in Colors with what I’d find I’ve spent all my life at the bottom of it At the bottom of it The way the wind steals the dead leaves Everything I’ve lost trying to carry it all Up in the fog is it what We put in or get out Or do we not belong Here at the bottom of it? There’s no one else in this room that’s trying to leave it We rode down wild hills Where electric lines hummed I wanted to end up here Without what happened first Everything I’ve lost trying to carry it all Up in the fog is it what We put in or get out Or do we not belong Nothing but our youth dissolving Or being reborn as a wild pink bonfire Here at the bottom of it Here at the bottom of it
8.
Useless (Feel It 2) 03:02
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Too many times don’t wanna talk about it anyway I’ll see it through The same as you Too many times I see a movement up ahead think You’ll find it too as high as you (were) I’m supposed to leave Who could make things up about Our love on the ocean floor So I shut up and you got bored If we communicate at all it was by way of notes Wet fingers and put out the flame Anything longer would put me to sleep Fumbling through I’d like to think there are reasons, for The blank page inside our brain The page goes blank inside our brain I thought that I was scared to stay Into the darkness of dead pines Who could make things up about Our love on the ocean floor Sliding further everyday And it gets harder Feeling my way through the dark Put down my glasses and crashed right into Growing more useless by the day Then from away I was not the reflection of the moon on the water when The two of us were invincible I’d like to hear From you when I see an ambulance New faces were a blur And now the two of us are invisible Who could make things up about Our love on the ocean floor So I shut up and you got bored And it gets harder Feeling my way through the dark Put down my glasses and crashed right into Growing more useless by the day Oh I feel it 2
9.
Wait 4 Nothing 03:38
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If it’s easier for us To switch it on and off Can I leave it all to you? I’ll always meet you here As if I could get lost I’m too worried to understand now We get through some trouble Then we get through some trouble Then get through some trouble Will we get through this trouble? And I wanted to keep up with it all But I had nowhere else to go When it’s easy to dig up A moat around our thoughts If this isn’t a real and true love Then I’m writing on my hands Not sure of who I am A loser here, ready and not And I catch myself dying I catch myself sliding I catch myself siding Everlasting failures I’ve tried By wanting to keep up with Or slow down I haven’t learned to regret (yet) And I don’t want you to And I don’t want us to Relive this life, I’m tired And I feel that it’s true I’ll still always love you I think of only years left And I don’t want you to And I don’t want us to Have you tell me once that you meant it Now I see what might’ve been It’s catching up to me, with Headphones on A marriage between what it means Dying in my head (Was it bad at the start?) It’s all I have and I keep reminding myself To remember what love is What love is Waiting for nothing And I don’t want you to And I don’t want us to Relive this lie, I’m tired And I feel that it’s true I’ll still always love you I think of only years left Together, go through Together, we’ll go through Together, we’ll catch fires If it’s easier for us To switch it on and off Now everything gets caught Can I leave it all to you?
10.
Until The Sunlight 02:57
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Phased and growing up Who would harmonize with us? Then life wasted in work I was driving off of cliffs Or less permanent things I’m seeing everything catching right up to me (Through the windshield) You were pretending And what the fuck is broken now? I’ve been waiting my turn I’m faking myself out From less permeant things Do do do do There’s nothing to say now It’s cool to not come down (ever) And we’ll get close And they throw flowers on us Flooded with new dreams Is it good to get the hardest parts out of ... Lost on the details The car got taken away We forgot to pay Turned into what we became Desire, catastrophe I’m seeing everything catching right up to me And we get close Then they threw flowers on us Flooded with new dreams Is it good to give the hardest parts away? Until the sunlight Until we let go Until the flood past Until you get home Loved me in fragments I’m tired of talking Barely could gesture But we will laugh someday and how And we’ll get close And they throw flowers on us Flooded with new dreams Is it good to get the hardest parts out of the way?
11.
Sylvia 02:13
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I wasn’t myself tonight Fucked, tangent dream drunk, dead to rights They’ll only strap us down If we give them a reason to, right? You said that you saw something Hidden in me when we met And I think I did too but I haven’t figured it all out yet The truth is I don’t make plans All I try do to is make sense Of the long term world of senses Excessive unchecked WILL THIS BE WHAT WE REGRET? I said that I saw something Hidden in you when we met And I think you did too but You haven’t figured it out Yet A moonlit maze Still struggling to make something worth Staring at A moonlit maze Still struggling to waste something been running around all day
12.
Windows 03:22
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Two sides swarming in my head Not just one I put off I’ve stayed in love for years I thought Why not your silhouette? Long legs in firmament They slowly destroy me, I said Don’t blame them It’s mine too About the weight (that) you’re hauling About the weight you’re hauling Stretching out with harmonics I remember the times I made fun of myself to make us laugh at Broken pieces Can I keep them to myself? I never meant to go silent On you! Two sides Swarming in my head Not just one I put off I’ve stayed in love for years I thought to blame what? It’s mine too About the weight (that) you’re hauling About the weight you’re hauling Slow ways You’ve taught me to get better I still try To look out broken windows I might Be sweeping up the glass We’ll say There’s no enemy of what it means to be loved Slow ways You’ve taught me to get better You still try To look through broken windows I might Be sweeping up the glass When you say 'Too much fucking around' You crack up When I’m down Slow ways You’ve taught me to get better Slow ways You’ve taught me to get better Slow ways You’ve taught me to get better Slow ways You’ve taught me to get better Too much fucking around

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home album done between 12/2022 and 2/2023.

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released February 25, 2023

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Aaron Schroeder San Francisco, California

Puking in the fountains of youth

SF CA

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