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Half Truths

by Aaron Schroeder

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1.
Big Surprise 02:56
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01 Big Surprise Feels like it must be the way You don’t respond to me right away Then a week or two slips by You’re said you’re sorry you were MIA I’m fresh out of white flags We’ll stay and draw circles around ourselves Wild West shit We don’t talk about the same things Even when we’re both talking about the same things I’ve written too much about us Feels like this must be the place No god kicking in around my veins You looked best when you’re looking through You said nothing hurts like the sad truth I’m fresh out of white flags We’ll stay and draw a circle around ourselves Wild West shit We don’t talk about the same things Even when we’re both talking about the same things I’ve written too much Big surprise: we pushed the crystal doors aside I watched come crash through mine Maybe we stop bullshitting ourselves I’m not who I thought I was five minutes ago Burning stolen smokes I have no guilt or shame yet Big surprise: we pushed the crystal doors aside I hope you come crash through mine Thinking we should want more than this Big surprise: I can tell you think you recognize I’m not who I thought I was back then We keep restarting You look up and see every light five minutes ago Burning stolen smokes I have no guilt and no shame
2.
No Matter Of Life Or Death 03:09
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02 No Matter of Life or Death I couldn’t get away I wanted your regrets Is it hard to believe what had changed? When I’m the only one Feeling everything wrong (I guess) It’s no matter of life or death Like silent violence I still loved a good excuse Feel like nothing comes from nothing’s end Going blind in the dark I didn’t write a song I wrote you an album It was all I had left Pedals pulled and collapsed It was all I had left, I knew it was wrong It was all I had left It was all that was left When you called and you said that you don’t wanna know I don’t need to go back I’ve slipped through a new I don’t need to go back I’ll sleep through a new half truth No matter of life or death I don’t wanna talk to you Like adults do, it’s weird For fucks same I’m sure we’ve done some good But now everything is wrong Horrible, shamed and lost Without the right context to explain When it’s all that is left Not some terrible end That we’re running from It was all that was left It was all that was left When you called and you said that you don’t wanna know It was all I had left Pedals pulled and collapsed It was all I had left, iI knew it was wrong I don’t need to go back I’ve slipped through anew I don’t need to go back I’ll sleep through a new half truth
3.
Gray Hoodie 02:26
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03 Grey Hoodie When you take it all back when What if we had never meant? I could only hate you too Just some no one from high school You said nothing I don’t know You said nothing I don’t know When the blood is all dried up The disintegration outpaced us, it’s sad Now: It’s always better when there are less New versions to destroy ourselves There’s no real work That would pay so much To make so little So you wait for So you wait for So you wait for So you wait for So you wait for So you look for Who you were There’s no place for There’s no place for There’s no place for This new you So you wait for So you wait for So you wait for Who you were
4.
Half Awake 03:04
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04 Half Awake Thieves in the back of my head are never enough It’s awkward to wait for love, I guess No one has it in for me Walk into bloodless walls Once saw a window to escape through Thieves in the back of my head Feet tied to skates and fainting A glass case to show off your shame A flyer won’t tell them your name I’m half awake Practicing diving or waiting in the pool Half awake Something to take apart I can’t put back Every savage night a repeat of savage days Where I’m half awake I’m half awake Thieves in the back of my head were never away I’m throwing what’s left into a castle flaming out I don’t know what to say I’m counting on you to tell me now I don’t know what to save No one has it in for me Horoscope predictions wronged Surrounded by roses and phone calls I tried to ruin myself Half awake Something to take apart I can’t put back Half awake We no longer see the same world at all Half awake Practicing diving or waiting in the pool Half awake Inside a palace run by evil gremlins Savage night just a repeat of our savage days Where I’m half awake I’m half awake
5.
Spend 02:58
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05 Spend Spent my days in a rut Spend my time not looking up Two weeks of wavering with covers torn Nothing good ever comes from leaving suddenly I’m lost in my mind, tombs we’re in I might be wrong Ooh, ooh Then you said if you stayed it would just Make things worse when you had to go I don’t know anymore Wreckage remembered What could be worse than slow destruction? One day it will be all mine I wanted to see what it was like to think it was fine To come apart and be alright I wanted to see what it was like to Think it was cool that we gave up and be fine No fucked up genius could take our places It wasn’t anything, it felt like something It wasn’t anything, it felt like something Spend my time not looking up Spent my days in a rut
6.
Sorted Out 03:05
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06 Sorted Out You used to wonder where we’d end up Always getting out of trouble What could be worse than not needing anyone? I’m older and I’ve given it up We lost it ages ago How did it end up pulling us down here again? Now I don’t wanna do it alone And when we leave it will be like we were never here Caught in the same rain I’m never around I’m always there We lost faith ages ago So how did it end up pulling us down? Oh, We’re always slipping up I’m not really like this I guess I’ve fucked up I don’t know what you thought I don’t know what you were thinking I don’t know what you thought Sorted out, is our last death the easiest? Sorted out, is our last death the easiest? We thought we could outrun anything Not chasing after us after all I used to wonder where we’d end up I’ll never know all the angels And the delay, here we’ve been Sorted out, is our last death the easiest? Sorted out, is our last death the easiest? We thought we could outrun anything Not chasing after us after all Now I don’t wanna do it alone And when we leave it will be like we were never here
7.
(Don't Go Looking For) What You Don't Wanna Find 02:54
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07 (Don’t Go Looking For) What you Don’t wanna find Sharpen teeth: Televisions on apartment lawns Fighting with all my friends You and your crew of crusaders You take yourselves oh so seriously Tied in knots Every party eight stars in my hands Keeping up with the dead Teenage years slither off I’ll tell you how it feels if I find that feeling again What viciousness drifts away Like helicopter blades rip up the smoke It cracked the case, I fell gradually Former collapse, not exclude to age Final, in fact, we used to know the way Have you got your camera on? Don’t look for what you don’t wanna find Tried to go where it starts The feelings in our heads You can turn it on us I got something tattooed I used to be afraid of anything that came to me too easy It has become an obsession I’ll feel the loss you felt It has become an obsession War stories in guest rooms Innocence drifts away Like helicopter blades rip up the smoke We cracked the case I fell gradually Former collapse, not excluded to age Final, in fact, we used to know the way Have you got your camera on? Have you got your camera? Former collapse, not excluded to age Final, in fact, we used to know the way Have you got your camera on? Don’t look for what you don’t wanna find, ugh What you don’t wanna find What you don’t wanna find
8.
The Same Rebellion and Resignations 03:09
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08 The Same Rebellion & Resignations The first things That devour me endlessly It’s strange they occupy you too Brought on by Lingering laments This rotten world we leave behind for love To rush then through our youth May flowers always fall down Over us Over us Over us Fragment dust, place we run You took me to The same rebellion and resignation Fairness knows You’ve changed some things about yourself I’ve changed some things about me too Laying there Ashing cigarettes in the rain In rooms you’ve got to leave to keep Innocent even if our Future was already wasted Held a match I want to be what you want me to Please tell me so Over us Over us Over us Fragment dust Place we run You took me to The same rebellion and resignations The same rebellion and resignations The same rebellion and resignations
9.
Learn to Walk Away 04:13
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09 Learn To Walk Away I thought I had so much to say But when I tried to write it down Another curse, it all just hurt The truth is I never made plans to stay I guess I am not as sure as you ever were A throbbing pink bonfire as stuck inside of my skull Telling ghost stories In afterlife guest rooms I learned to walk away, I learn to walk away We don’t want pain to take too long Our heroes have all fallen apart And now we’re old, it’s hard to say You can’t let destruction ruin your life that way Have I been adrift for years? Mending only fences Have I been adrift for years? Mending only fences I’ll learn to walk away, I’ll learn to walk away Oh, oh, oh Before our long agos Before our on our owns Before what happens next Before your car got towed Before not coming back Before the slow exits Before you came to bed Before the bad dream ends Before the lightning hits Before collapsing rain I had a hard time then thinking of ways to say How much I needed you, how much I still need you How much I still need you, how much I still need you I can’t learn to walk away
10.
Mixed 01:31
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10 Mixed The warning signs Like godamn danger When we’re around played us as strangers I crushed my hand it came to life And you think this is too weird Loosen your grip on who you are now These spiderwebs held our true selves in I wanna throw my soul into a fire I don’t wanna get my life Mixed up with the wrong types I don’t wanna get my life Mixed up with the wrong types I don’t wanna get my life Mixed up with the wrong lives You don’t wanna get your life Mixed up with the wrong types
11.
FWUS 04:13
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11 FWUS They forget what you wanted Fending off a sigh but I wasn’t disgusted with uncommon lives To come ask what you wanted Stranded in space was it foolish to follow Now I don’t know A child hasn’t caught up w dull future hells Wine goes to your head Craters stagnant water There wasn’t room for your ideas, You forget what being poor is about A hallway explored all you have to do is just to step out You’ve lost me You’ve lost me You’ve lost me Your fortune was beneath you The same only in memories Your fortune was beneath you The same only in memory Your fortune was beneath you The same only in memory We all have a way of staying alive We all have a way of staying alive We all have a way of staying alive We all have a way of staying alive We all have a way of staying alive For what it’s worth, I’m not gonna tear this apart For what it’s worth, I hoped this would last forever

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released January 17, 2024

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Aaron Schroeder San Francisco, California

Puking in the fountains of youth

SF CA

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