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Isolation to the Stage

by Aaron Schroeder

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1.
We Will Turn It Into A Golden Hand 03:25
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01 We Will Turn It Into A Golden Hand I don’t listen to myself Because I know how it sounds Climbing through the rosebushes You laugh but your face is not laughing I had to sell my guitar I held in the smoke too long Phasing out all best times We transform into adults slowly Waving hi from the audience Saying hi from the audience Wave goodbye from the audience Wave goodbye at the audience I burned out there in the apartment of the sun So I went east to write some songs in the snow Saying hi from the audience There are only so many places left to run after There are only so many places to go to after all Before it looks the same I’m not sure what it means to really come back here again And I think you had me confused then For someone that I wasn’t yet But I could still be but I still could be But I still could be If can take all that we have and turn it into a golden hand All that we have and turn it into a golden hand All that we have and turn it into a golden hand All that we have and turn it into a golden hand Turn all that we have and turn it into a golden hand
2.
Darkness Won't See The Light 03:20
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02 Darkness Won’t See The Light Lost the fight, I don’t care Can we stay alive this way? Fuck it’s fine I don’t know Dead feeling, in my blood slows Flipping through the memories Ripped right ones off, but it still feels all wrong You said if he could see us now He’d probably laugh while looking down When you call without meaning A double life this new feeling An idea that terrified me It left me out, it drew me in, then went I don’t want to be Enemies for centuries Sometimes we’re good at convincing ourselves What helicopter leaves us Lost the fight, I don’t care When you call, said ‘I’m here’ World of thorns, evening drive One day you, won’t be mine I’ve been struggling to do something for the first time What shame is not was love so much as devotion Arc to cross in the glass wilderness Had my chance At some point weakness just Ends up as a part of who I am I don’t want to be Enemies for centuries Sometimes we’re good at convincing ourselves Our helicopter leaves us I haven’t tried anything but I’m tired of trying I remember us stumbling down hills Convinced of nothing we don’t need to be loved Darling darling, darkness won’t see Darkness won’t see the I thought I had so much left Darling darling darkness won’t see the light
3.
The Hardest Parts 02:19
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03 The Hardest Parts Everything is felt this way: We don’t believe in what we got I’m only happy when I’m laughing at myself You’re probably there I’m probably lost I used to know everything you did I used to feel like I could to this I don’t wanna ask too much Of the hardest parts Think I’ve got a lot to do now To make up for this, I know The hardest parts are yet to come when the hardest parts are done Utterly lost in the avalanche Was it us who mistook rain for romance? You push me around just with a look from your eyes I think our lives are dotted lines I used to know everything you did I used to feel like I could to this I don’t wanna ask too much Of the hardest parts Think I’ve got a lot to do now To make up for this, I know The hardest parts are yet to come when the hardest parts are done I don’t wanna ask too much of the hardest parts When the hardest parts are yet to come
4.
An Animals 02:31
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04 An Animals Suddenly so easy to be myself that I felt Like I must have been someone else There are cracks in the panes There are sharks in the waves There are scratches in your door It’s hard to believe that You said you don’t want what you don’t have Automatic walkways dragged us like animals Cliched, hard to believe Weary of what I don’t need There isn’t anything I want to be a part of I just want to get of the way with you It’s hard to believe that You said you don’t want what you don’t have Automatic walkways When maybe it’s better to just go back I remember heartbreak I pretend to have patience as I’m rushing right by A slice of jail all night Is it more than just my fault? Did you say it’s not that hard? To walk away Is it more than just my fault? Did you say it’s not that hard? To not forget the way We can barely protect ourselves I forget my place in those endless nights
5.
What Am I Saying To Myself? 03:36
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05 What Am I Saying To Myself? It’s not like we’ll survive this And you think nothing is worth trying Things can’t stay this forever in my mind I see now I was careless It was fucked up not to care Can’t you take a day off from the worst night of your life? As a ghost or a new vision Of what this good love was supposed to mean You said you can’t separate your self from your thoughts What did I decide? What am I saying to myself? What have I said? It’s not like we’ll survive this I don’t need to know right now And the wolves can’t stay forever by your side As a ghost or anew vision Of what this good love was supposed to mean No amount of distance Now could save us if you can’t What did we decide? What am I saying to myself? You had me confused for something that I wasn’t Now I’m only trying Faces drawn I’m gonna look up at myself though this window Before not falling out What did we decide? What am I saying to myself? You had me confused for something that I wasn’t What am I saying to myself?
6.
Fingernails 03:17
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06 Fingernails Back then we did a lot of bad things We knew it all Kissed strays conquered desolate place Went through it all You can’t grow up more than once, right? Tell me agood lie repeating In a palace where nothing dies Take my place so it’s never-ending Regrets grow back like fingernails Take my place so it’s never-ending Regrets grow back like fingernails We can see cleaner now Convinced of nothing Now that the smoke has settled Embarrassment I can see us burning out strange as ever You can’t grow up more than once If you want to never come over You could always just stay where you are Take my place so it’s never-ending Regrets grow back like fingernails Take my place so it’s never-ending Regrets grow back like fingernails Oh, oh, oh, oh We can see cleaner Oh, oh, oh, oh Convinced of nothing Oh, oh, oh, oh Burning on a quiet dream It breaks me apart If there’s such a thing I couldn’t raise my eyes to my regret I could see there was a difference Let grow what will
7.
Got You 03:33
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07 Got You The last thought might not be true I swam through the fog for years thinking All ends ephemeral Ether way they’ve got you talking to Convinced we were both wrong and entertaining delusions of Now we didn’t see what happened But we couldn’t see what happened Now we didn’t see what I forget it’s just medicine You get lost trying to lose everything No rot to youth when I got you I got you You start over, you said might as well We were all guilty until we had forgotten who Have we become one with them yet? Have you met yourself in the streets? Where good ideas are a waste Bet you didn’t see what happened Bet you didn’t see what happened I forget it’s just medicine And you get lost trying to lose something No rot to youth when I got you too I typed for days trying to burn it loose Psychic wounds, I got you And sometimes that’s your wild eyes just outside sorrows of this life I’m half right and I’m half wrong You knew ghosts, so this is not a loss Why the fuck are we even talking about this? It’s all so godamn obvious Forever holding until nothing’s harmless Now nothing’s harmless
8.
Out of Time 02:52
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08 Out Of Time Say what you wanted before all a lie I had it lined up, it slipped under mine We barely made it out and sometimes I’m Not sure if we did entirely, or entirely did You can’t make it here and neither can I The smallest thing kills me I don’t know why Driving in circles with a million things in between I wanted to know But we’re out of time Can’t say what you thought Cause we’re out of time Now it seems like we’re only making things harder I play the tape and watch myself fall apart I want to be honest, I want to be honest Say what you want Then you’re out of time I wanted to know but we’re out of time
9.
Empire Lines 02:42
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09 Empire Lines We sat on the bed Watching airplane lights flicker inside the sky How we fight without fighting I am used to these moments but they are not Supposed to happen anymore But what can we do? If this was just an ending When we keep things simple no one Can tell we don’t belong Empire lines What reason to accept things as they are Inside our separate costumes Everything was the same If you are reckless And if time’s just waiting to pounce What are we going to do now? I remember those nights when If I do harm than anyone could But I’m not looking for a way out are you? I remember those nights when If I do harm than anyone could But I’m not looking for a way out are you? I’m not looking for a way out are you? Then it was just an ending We happened to get over it Where love is just not one lonely outcome If this was just an ending When we keep things simple No one can tell we don’t belong Empire lines Don’t tell we don’t belong, empire lines Don’t tell we don’t belong, empire lines
10.
Chores 03:20
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10 Chores Turned the carpet dark A second of blood when water runs out So your thoughts lined up You could give in it would still go on I want to be balanced I want to be less with the waves on down Caught in my head everything stops What haven’t I done wrong? Now if we ever get back Looking lost already That’s when you figured me out And I couldn’t tell anymore Bored, still couldn’t care less You didn’t want love ruining your mind Pitched at trials what life waits to be played? Asking too much Paraphrased at deep ends Dying so slow What are we trying to get? Wild dirt rose, like anarchist a romantic in disguise Now if we ever get back Looking lost already I stand up, I hit my head I’m missing all my friends They’re here Now if we ever get back Looking lost already Back when I knew you Heaven’s a chore for Crying on wet fields Who cares about anything from so far away? I still loved you from far away, I still love you Not like we’ll ever get back Looking lost already Slipped on our own blood I’m not aiming that way, way, way Take them all! Now if we ever get back Looking lost already These maps lead us nowhere I’m turning away from the the hangman I once knew
11.
Caught In Lights 03:50
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11 Caught in Lights I’m trying to get away from this by lying to myself In cafes with paintings of famous men who are all dead now The only things I had to say: “The fountains empty out” or “I wish I had a better sense of who am I without you around” Places apart As if to say- what took so long Places apart, on and on There’s nothing we can say We’re caught in lights All caught in lights A century that we’ve to romanticize Frozen in time, caught in lights Withhold the fine lines, broken teeth Traffic light to traffic light Everything is something else, like the dead chapels of your eyes Let it be true for some of us: “The fountains empty out” or “I wish I had a lot to say about myself with you around” I gave up when you did but I will love you til the end I’m caught in lights with you I’m caught in lights with you But I still want to try I still want to try With you

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released March 3, 2024

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Aaron Schroeder San Francisco, California

Puking in the fountains of youth

SF CA

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