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SOUR GRAPES

by Aaron Schroeder

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1.
Is Is the End If We Forget? 03:10
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01 Is it the End if We Forget? Waiting for catastrophe, I wrote it down When everything washed on the shore What else could we oppose? A refined way of avoiding What haven’t I let down? It’s not my place To tell you this is insane It’s not my place Deep down we’re all doing the same things Trying to salvage what’s left Deep down we’re all doing the same things Is it the end if we forget? Never said it’s hard to do We just stayed the same Caught up only with the past A clear shot across to Gemini I can see the sunlight Burned up in the water You can turn me into someone I’m not You can turn me to someone like you It’s all as broken As it’s always just been I’m trying to keep up with everyone I love It’s strange how you can still fuck me up It’s strange how you can still fuck me up I hate how you can still fuck me up I hate how you can still fuck me up When Deep down we’re all doing the same things Trying to salvage what’s left Deep down we’re all doing the same things Is it the end if we forget? I wanna be happy with all I’ve seen I wanna be happy with what we’ve seen
2.
Might Stop Forever 02:24
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02 Might Stop Forever I see what been waiting for What dead ends asked of you Alone with so many problems Was this something you knew? So much for endless meaning I hope we die before we get hurt too much Dear Victoria I’ve had a conquering few years There are just a few things I can’t push my way around I thought that I was lost Thought I might stop forever “You’re getting carried away but nothing has changed” We can start it again (shut up, shut up) Familiar silhouette Blaming others for how we are Sometimes it feels like one thread And it will all come apart If you meant to tell me something without saying it, you did I thought that I was lost Thought I might stop forever “You’re getting carried away since nothing has changed” Haven’t we struck ourselves dead enough As fresh post fictionalized burdens? We’ve waved war torn flags and we’re guilty of what? There’s no such dreams like a thief’s I was fixated on the wrong things Now I want you to see what I’ve seen!
3.
Tumble I 02:15
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03 Tumble I watch you get away Reduced to smaller space If I thought you’d hear I’d never say If I thought you’d listen I wouldn’t say Blood doesn’t just pour out You telling me to slow down Blood doesn’t just come out Telling me to slow down, for what? It’s hard enough looking for one There’s no success without Majorly fucking things up I blame myself, I broke down Trying not to tumble I wanna tumble Will everything come or has it all passed? Forget us X3 I watch you move away Losing faith in your brain There was nothing to give Just fortunes to extinguish, without love It’s hard enough looking for one escape I’m majorly fucking things up from my place Trying not to tumble I’m trying not to tumble Will everything come black or has it passed? I’m trying not to tumble Trying not to tumble Will everything come black or has it all passed?
4.
Tumble II 02:40
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04 Tumble II Years apart, it was, it wasn’t it? I let them hurt me this way, you said “Why are you always falling apart?” Years apart, it was, it wasn’t it? Some new life I’m not a part of it Even in the dark can you see what you’ve lost? I love the way we’re tumbling down I love the way we’re tumbling down I love the way we’re tumbling down I love the way we’re turning them down You give me too much credit I hate them because they’re just like me If we get one more chance If we get one more chance I’m sure we will waste it
5.
Side Streets 03:18
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05 Side Streets Behind a new life I don’t wanna fight A wound in the name of love is still a wound My head is all disorganized longing Caught up because We needed a crime to justify our shame All the time I tried to make it good I remember when we met Million things between us I’m not virtuous I’m not anything We moved the bed below the window the watch the storm Underwater, go softer It’s wrong but you are not Walking through dead valleys, purple skies I try to remind myself everyone here is just Climbing out and living on side streets Climbing up and l iving on side streets What happened to you? What happened to us? If you’re guilty, I’m done for A new slice of jail Seems you have as well Don’t live in our home anymore Those normal nights Nothing hurts like the truth Off and inside What’s been sacrificed I remember when we met Million things between us I’m not virtuous I’m not anything We moved the bed below the window the watch the storm Underwater, go softer It’s wrong but you are not Walking through dead valleys, purple skies I try to remind myself everyone here is Climbing out and living on side streets Climbing up and living on side streets On side streets From side streets You don’t live in my home anymore We’re closest to each other when we’re furthest away You don’t live in our home anymore We all pretended not to notice how much you’ve changed You don’t live in our home anymore You don’t tell me anything and I think that I like it that way
6.
Vaults 03:15
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06 Vaults Cloudless stop You never said you knew Still trying to find something to cling to We’re the dust on the ocean floor There’s no dust on the ocean floor And you think god fucked you over but I don’t I’m always feeling like I owe too much All good dreams end up Compressed life Personal hells adrift I wasn’t supposed to hurt you like this Half the time looking for love Anything I want to be part of Things change one by one Then change all at once (vaults) Half the time looking for love Anything I want to be part of Things change one by one Then change all at once Half the time looking for love Anything I want to be part of Things change one by one Then change all at once (vaults) I became what I didn’t want to With time enough as nothing new Eyes closed is not the same as going blind
7.
Yr Wrist 03:27
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07 Yr Wrist Didn’t care in the shade Faking your feelings Walking through It takes me too long to get to the point I’m boring you I think you love me but it’s just harder now I get it, of course, I do I think you love me but it’s just harder now I get it I do Nothing in the end You could pretend Just to find some way through Look up from the ground At heavens you’ve carved out Collapsing on you We talk in paragraphs Greater blood sprayed in tiled walls The truth would crush you more than me I’m walking through the halls I’m going I think I loved you but it’s just harder now What happens when the veins are cut, you’re celebrating? What happens when the veins are cut, you’re celebrating? What happens when the veins are cut, worth celebrating? We don’t survive without our hearts I’ve given all I can to you We won’t survive or recognize what’s wrong I’m ruining my life for you We don’t survive without our hearts I’ve given all I can to you We won’t survive or recognize what’s wrong As I assume you won’t Nothing in the end You could pretend Just to find some way through Look up from the ground At heavens you’ve carved out Collapsing on you Your wrist isn’t mine! Your wrist wasn’t mine! I chased after nothing and nothing chased after And now it’s just chains What happened to us? We were the greatest of all
8.
Under All Time 03:20
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08 Under All Time There’s always something breaking Thoughts I wish I could change You act like that is not what is it I can’t believe it but I should have known I can’t believe it but I should have known Is is better to feel like everyone Has it figured out or believe that no one does? I thought it over, you don’t need to know I thought it over you don’t need to know it all No secrets I kept all mine How I really feel Subtract two There are barely any words That would crush me now You’ve got the same problems That we all pretend not to have I’m sleeping off all my dreams You’ve got the same problems That we all pretend not to have Called you off the plane I’m buried alive again Inside of what has defeated me I can’t believe it but I should have known Stomping through the wilderness Thought I could get past everything that terrified me I’m only asking for remainders now You do this thing where you blame me when we’ve lost control No secrets I kept all mine How I really feel Subtract two Lions in my own garden, they could crush me now You’ve got the same problems That we all pretend not to have I’m sleeping off all my dreams You’ve got the same problems That we all pretend not to have Under all time, I wept Under all time, I left Under all time, I went All for you
9.
Fire in the Trees 03:30
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09 Fire in the Trees Gone ‘round this cyclone again Days go backwards No difference with the windows rolled up Blue and white burned Parliaments We haven’t lived through our regrets We could still mean nothing to no one You pushed me into the waves Are we going places someday? I can’t relate to that part of you Fire in the trees is always above us And there is no direction without you The sad ways that we lose each other A blood stain is not a scar Thrift store army jacket on It’s been years since I thought about it Between signs we didn’t like Suburban survivors right To want something else to ruin They can’t relate to that part of us Fire in the trees is always above us And there is no room without you The sad ways that we lose each other We’re going places Going places someday if alone Going places, going places some Even if alone Walk me down the bleachers again Go even if alone Your culture knocking itself off again over and over I can’t relate to that part of you I can’t relate to that part of you Fire in the trees is always above us After that as is so often the case Nothing happened as we expected it to stay We lost each other when there was too much to say We lost each other when there was too much to say
10.
Guild (Hanging Up) 04:47
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11 Guild (Hanging Up) How would I know when the drugs have stopped? There’s a lot of things I never thought In the void between a few ways out I guess this is just what it takes now There’s a lot of things we’ll never do There are years we’re trying to get through Later on when it all goes away Does it feel like it’s been taken from you? Rewind become a double a life We are not here, you’re far behind Rewind become a double a life, the Honestly I understand less what it’s about I try not to let it in cause I know how it sounds I’m hanging up the phone I’m hanging up the phone First to tell them where you wanna go Then you tell them who you wanna see Then you tell them what you wanna break And they’ll tell you what it outta mean How would I know when the drugs have stopped? You were diving in your reflection In the void between a few ways out I guess this is just what it takes Rewind become a double a life We are not here, you’re far behind Rewind become a double a life, I’m on my own Honestly I understand less what it’s about I try not to let it in cause I know how it sounds I’m hanging up the phone I’m hanging up the phone Hanging up the phone I’m hanging up the phone What you barely meant Years of dead ends Has everyone left but you? What you barely meant Years of dead ends Everyone left but you What you barely meant Years of dead ends Cage of self importance yet What you barely meant, years of dead ends Everybody left Honestly I understand Less what it’s about I try not to let it in cause I know how it sounds I’m hanging up the phone I’m hanging up the phone
11.
It Doesn't Work 02:15
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11 It Doesn’t Work I know I have to change the way that I feel It only drags me down These dumb thoughts destroy us In real time Have we really outgrown those moments? Half dead in my age It’s easier to act like this it’s okay When it doesn’t work I can defend All I love without your help no more I can defend All I love without your help no more I can defend Hard to see their faces There is always something breaking You can’t leave it in pieces on the floor Dropped into some background You tell me you like living there The ending of your life like an encore I’m not coming back there, no I don’t think I’m coming back but I’ll love you I will love you like before And I’m still learning to forgive us both

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released April 27, 2024

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Aaron Schroeder San Francisco, California

Puking in the fountains of youth

SF CA

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